Internet Threat Level



Realizing that your normal Facebook, Twitter, StumbleUpon, Reddit, GoogleReader habit just isn't making you excited about that series of tubes we all know and love? Internet Threat Level is here!

Current Threat Level: ORANGE

Gadhafi's Son Captured

Moammar Gadhafi’s son was recently captured. However, given the fact that 90% of the public remains woefully unaware of the Libyan situation, I don’t even know why I’m posting it.

(Particularly egregious: The Wells Fargo clerk I talked to last week didn’t know there had been a debt crisis, or that the nation’s credit rating was lowered. T.T)

THREAT LEVEL: BLUE (To Libyans: RED)

Twitter Devolves Into Place Where People Put the Word Bacon Into Movie Titles

There’s no clear reason why people are doing this. There’s no clear reason why Twitter has slowly begun to fall apart, either. #replacemovienameswithbacon has been trending worldwide for days. Run with the irony and start replacing one-word movie titles with bacon. (Inception = Bacon.)

THREAT LEVEL: GREEN

Playspent.org — It’s a video game where you try to make it through the month on minimum wage. Incredibly hard, especially since your imaginary kid keeps wanting to actually learn things in school. Rewarding, nonetheless.
Threat Level: ORANGE

Playspent.org — It’s a video game where you try to make it through the month on minimum wage. Incredibly hard, especially since your imaginary kid keeps wanting to actually learn things in school. Rewarding, nonetheless.

Threat Level: ORANGE

Are you crazy and paranoid? There is a secret store-your-gun-in-a-vault “BOOK VAULT” for you. Click here to store your illicit materials or just your diary (as long as it doesn’t write back to you. then it’s a horcrux.)
Threat level: Yellow

Are you crazy and paranoid? There is a secret store-your-gun-in-a-vault “BOOK VAULT” for you. Click here to store your illicit materials or just your diary (as long as it doesn’t write back to you. then it’s a horcrux.)

Threat level: Yellow

Acquaintance From Elementary School Realizes You Are On Facebook

  • Acquaintance: omg hi
  • Acquaintance: how long has it been ??
  • Acquaintance: it feels like forever !
  • You: hey
  • You: yeah its been a long time
  • Silence: I'm filling a conversational void!
  • You: so what's new
  • Acquaintance: not much LOL
  • You: okay
  • Silence: Hey, I'm back! Yay!
  • Silence: And you'll never speak to Acquaintance again. Yaaay! Notify the only other person you stay in touch with from elementary school and forget about this!
  • THREAT LEVEL: BLUE

That Weird Girl From High School Got Engaged

Yep, she’s still weird, and now she sports a “vintage” “diamond” “ring”. That guy who you assume she is referring to in her incessant statuses which end with “ilysm <3~~” is about to be one “lucky” son of a bitch.

At least the gossip value is there.

THREAT LEVEL: GREEN